Whether you’re an avid sailor or you’ve just happened to have won the lottery recently… buying a boat can be a BIG deal.
Quick question… of the people you know, how many of them own a boat? (Ignore if you’re part of a sailing club).
Exactly, not that many! And of the important decisions you make during the early moments of boat ownership, the most significant isn’t what equipment to buy, deciding where you’re going to go first, or even if if you’d be far better off if you left the wife and kids at home and sailed off into the distance… no no no! It’s choosing a name.
That name is going to stick forever remember… so you’d better make it a bl*ody good one!
The best ones are those that steer away from the typically boring names like “serenity” or “journey” and have humor to them instead. Because well, it makes people sit up and take notice. Plus i’d respect someone far more if they decided to have something funny printed across the side of their beloved vessel instead.
Take a look at this list of the funniest boat names going and pick your favorite!
1. Safest place to be
He’s not wrong! And with all the apocalypses that are apparently happening any time now, this guy is someone you might want to be friends with… and quickly!
2. Fastest vessel on the seas
Just goes to show you don’t need to hire a professional to do a fancy sign when you can do it yourself free of charge. Well, apart from the small fee for the duck tape.
3. “Titanic II”
Talk about jinxing yourself aye? There’s not even an iceberg in sight.
4. Tempting fate
You can’t tell me this dude’s knot confident… In fact i’d say he was ferry confident his boat’s not going to sink. You don’t need to tell me these puns are great, because buoy do I know it! Ok, i’ll stop.
There goes my idea for an original boat name! Great minds think alike I guess. I can’t help but feel like this only makes sense as long as the dogs are actually aboard though…
Well if you’re going down, you might as well go down laughing!
7. “Error 404”
Catchy! The owner of this must’ve planned on having the boat out of water for a lot more time than in it.
8. “KNOT SHORE”
If you’re unsure on what to name your boat then why not just make a joke out of it instead? Besides, who doesn’t love a good pun?
9. “The Wet Dream”
This guy must get all the ladies with a risky name like that printed on the backside of this mighty vessel… anyways, moving on.
10. “Eggs-ta-Sea” Get it?
Is there such a thing as trying a little too hard? Because I think this might just be it.
11. “Vitamin Sea”
You can never get too much of it. If i’d have thought of something that INCREDIBLY clever, i’d have it printed right across the boat in a big bold font. This just doesn’t do it justice.
12. “She Got The House”
Ah well, I think this guy got the better deal anyway. Who needs financial stability as well as the physical stability of a house on hard ground when you could have something that could sink at any minute and repels anyone with sea sickness?
13. “Drug Money”
Is this guy inviting trouble on himself? How many times is he going to get pulled over by the coastguard? Stay tuned for the answers…
14. “The Codfather”
An absolute classic. You can’t go wrong with a name like this, but just for added insurance he’s put an image of a fish holding a gun smoking a cigar on there too… y’know, just so everyone gets it. Genius.
Do you know what’s the greatest ship of all kids? The friendshiiiiip! No thank you, spare me the cheesiness.
16. “Water U Looking’ At”
The answer: you’re absolutely awful yet brilliant boat name. I literally cannot make my mind up as to how I feel about this one.
Wealth is just an illusion. There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach about the realness of this one. Start with big hopes for the future, end up in disappointment. That’s how I read this, but maybe i’m just grumpy and old!
18. “50 Shades of Me”
This guy’s name is grey, so immediately you get the reference. Unfortunately for him, unless sunburnt is one of those shades, I think he’s probably lying.
19. What flavor? Salty please
Not sure of the decision behind this one, other than to come across as vulgar as possible whilst still keeping the pun boat-themed. I also don’t care because puns are everything!
20. “Master… wait for it… Baiter”
Look at the expression on this guys face, he’s impressed! You see some people just try too hard when the obvious classics are staring you straight in the face!
Do you think you’d have the cojones to try something similar to these guys? I’d just be happy to have the disposable income available to actually buy a boat in the first place!
Let me know what you think in the comments!