Ladies, be warned that the following content could be slightly nauseating…
We all know the struggle! Every month when mother nature approaches we have to go through the annoying, painful and uncomfortable process that is known as the menstrual cycle. And applying tampons is just one of the frustrating things that come with this time. Which is why we think you might be able to sympathise with these ladies’ stories. Brace yourselves…
1. The Best Friend That Did The Unthinkable
“I forgot to remove my tampon once, pushing it in deeper when I inserted a new one. A few days and rounds of sex later, I noticed some dark brown blood and a horrible smell coming from me. A friend told me that I might have a tampon stuck up there and a few days later in a public bathroom, I felt something moving around inside of me. Surprise — it was a tampon!
After I unsuccessfully tried to get it out, my friend and I went into a larger stall where she proceeded to place her fingers inside the nastiness that was my rotten-smelling, blood-filled vagina and got it out. Everyone, get yourself a friend like mine.”
2. Just Drop It And Run
I was at a water park, and it was my first time using a tampon. As I went down the water slide, I felt something come out of the bottom of my swimsuit. I knew it was my tampon, but I thought I could act like nothing happened and walk away. That’s when I discovered that tampons float, because as I walked away, I heard the kid behind me say, “Mommy, what is that?” The only thing I heard as I ran away was the mother screaming at the kid to drop it. I spent the rest of the day hiding in the bathroom.
3. The poor pup!
When I first got my dog, I had a regular trash can in the bathroom. That changed really quickly after one of our walks when I realized she was taking an unusually long time to poop because she was pooping out one of my used tampons! The string was too thin for her to push out, so I had to pull my used tampon out of my dog’s butt.
—Rachel Ward, Facebook
4. The absolutely clueless approach
As a teen, I had no idea how tampons worked because my mom wouldn’t let me use them. Then, one day in high school, my period came unexpectedly so I had to ask around for a pad. The only thing anyone had was a tampon. Clueless, I shoved the thing up my hoo-ha and left it there, plastic applicator and all.
5. When mother nature forces you to improvise, the results aren’t always great
I was on a night train when my period came earlier than usual. They didn’t allow actual luggage inside the cabin (and all of my period stuff was in my luggage), so I had nothing on me. I had to improvise by sticking a few sheets of toilet paper up there. I had forgotten all about it until my vagina started smelling really bad about a week later. The toilet paper had started to get moldy.
—Alina Küttel, Facebook
6. The traumatic ‘uncorking’
I have endometriosis, so my periods are from hell: painful, heavy, and horribly bloody. Before I got on an effective treatment regimen, I had one BAD period. My boyfriend had just drawn me a bath and brought me into the bathroom. Before I got in the tub, I decided to take out the tampon I’d had in all day.
I LITERALLY UNCORKED MYSELF. Blood and menstrual matter came pouring out of me — all over the toilet and the floor. After I threw out the tampon and attempted to clean up, my boyfriend threw me into the tub and ran out of the bathroom. With no cork, the bathwater became the Red Sea in about 10 minutes. I pretty much looked like a murder victim.
7. The ‘free-bleeding’ event
When my doctor implanted my copper IUD (worst pain ever!), he had to induce my period. But afterwards, the bleeding just wouldn’t stop. I was going through a super tampon every 45 minutes. Normally, I would have called out of work, but I had just started a new substitute-teacher job at an all-boys school.
By the end of the day, I’d managed to make four trips to the bathroom and only had two classes left. Unfortunately, they were back-to-back classes with no breaks. Halfway through the first class, I felt the tampon filling to capacity as I stood in front of a dozen teenage boys, free-bleeding and wanting to die. I never wanted a day to end as badly as that one.