Welcome to Gitspotting. We all know and love at least one old Git! One of the more interesting species, the Git comes in many different forms and breeds. If you’re thinking of adopting an old Git or just want to inform yourself here’s a handy guide to the top ten Gits you’re most likely to see in the wild.
The Loud Git
This Git isn’t afraid to speak his or her mind and won’t think twice about arguing the toss. Like all Gits they mean no harm but are best avoided during the morning and whatever you do, don’t tell them to lower their voice. They’ll only moan louder!
The Well Trained Git
A very common Git that is usually spotted holding his wife’s shopping bags grumbling. Looks like he isn’t having a good time. (He isn’t) But he’ll do anything for his Wife. Regardless of what he says.
This Git comes complete with Rambo war paint and “go faster” stripes on their mobility scooter. Never afraid to kick up a fuss over overpriced food or people who don’t pick up after their dogs.
The Chilled Git
This Git has been there, done that and got the friggin’ tee shirt. There’s no moan they haven’t heard, no ailment they haven’t had and no summer was hotter than the one back in 76’. Since they’ve seen it all these Gits can sit back relax and fart in peace.
The Animal Loving Git
This Git should change their name to DR Doolittle. Owning seven dogs, four cats, three budgies and a spouse. Smells like sawdust but has a heart of gold.
The Grumpy Git
Now, this Git is a special breed. Only a handful of these elusive Gits have been recorded throughout the ages. Nothing too petty to spend an hour moaning about and nothing too large they won’t fight, whatever their age! Plato was a well-known Grumpy Git. If you see this Git in the wild only approach if you have some alcohol with you that you’re willing to share.
The Unhygienic Git
This Git has realized that one’s own musk after going without a shower for six weeks has a more memorable scent than any of these posh overpriced colognes or perfumes. Regardless, you won’t find this Git at many fancy places. Not because of his musk, because he’s also got a bit of our next Git in him.
The Stingy Git
One of the classic Gits, this one would drop a heroin addiction if the price went up by a penny. The pennies make the pounds is the mantra. Learn it or face their wrath! One of its defensive techniques is to shout “How much??” and “I’d rather pay for my first marriage again than this.”
The Daft Git
You know your mad uncle who’s absolutely bonkers? He’s a daft Git. Always in it for the laughs, these Gits are experts at making people turn their frowns upside down. One of the rarer breeds that are usually spotted at family parties doing some sort of stunt that makes the children laugh and the elders wince.
The Grandparent Git
This Git is the creator of the soon to be Gits. Old and wise this Git is usually on Babysitting duties teaching the young ones the way of the Grump. A word of warning, leaving children with a Grandparent Git can result in them developing into a Young Git.
The Sour Git
This Git is a bit of an oddity among the Git community. As all other Gits are kind-natured, the Sour Git is a right old grump who wouldn’t smile if he won the lottery. Avoid at all costs unless you want to be death stared into oblivion.
(We did take a photo of the elusive Sour Git but it attacked and broke our camera)