Can you die of second hand embarrassment?
Sex is the most intimate encounter that two people can have. You’re naked, vulnerable and sometimes embarrassing things happen that are out of your control. However, you’re also connected, you feel closer than ever and it can lead to great relationships.
But let me ask you this, what happens when something even beyond your bog standard ‘queef’ or untimely period onset occurs and you literally feel like you’re dying of overbearing humiliation? When something AWFUL happens and you know there’s going to be no coming back from it? The type of embarrassment that wakes you up at 3am on a random Wednesday night two years later, and you lie there reliving it in your head, wanting the ground to swallow you up all over again. What do you possibly do about that?
You type it up from the safety of your laptop and submit the story to Whisper of course- like this brave lot have done. It’s therapeutic, you should try it.
We hope that these embarrassing sex stories put a smile on your face and that you’re not completely celibate by the end! Enjoy…
1) “Once during sex, as I was climaxing, I shouted, ‘That’s finger-licking good!’ I was so embarrassed afterwards. I honestly don’t know what came over me or why I said it. I don’t even like KFC”.
2) “One time I was so drunk I was meowing during sex. I thought it would be sexy. It wasn’t”
3) “The first time I was with a girl, I got so excited when she got naked that my nose started to bleed, like a freakish anime character”
4) “My dog full on licked my ex’s asshole in the middle of us having sex. I’ve never seen someone shoot up so quickly. He angrily stormed out saying I’d embarrassed him. WTF I HADN’T PLANNED IT?!”
5) “I text my Dad instead of my boyfriend by mistake with a graphic description of what I wanted him to do to me that night. I’m still not over it.”
6) “My boyfriend was going down on me and I farted in his mouth. He gagged and lost his boner.”
7) “The first time I had sex I fainted. Talk about trying to keep my cool. I’m still embarrassed now.”
8) “He accidentally FaceTimed his Dad. He saw and heard far too much.”
9) “My husband’s autistic cousin came bursting into the room and insisted on holding his hand. I was giving him a BJ at the time. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.”
10) “My boyfriend was pulling my hair during sex and pulled my full weave out and then screamed because he thought he’d pulled my entire head of hair out.”
11) “I lit candles to try and be romantic and mid way through sex I accidentally set my hair on fire (and I had A LOT of hairspray on). Not a good look.”
12) “I’m embarrassed every time I have sex because I make a goat noise when I’m climaxing. I don’t realise I’m doing it at the time but I’ve been told I do it after. Not cute.”
13) “My ex boyfriend’s Mum walked in on us having sex and shouted ‘MAKE ME A GRANDCHILD’. Funnily enough, we’re not together anymore.”
14) “My boyfriend’s Dad walked in on us just as my boyfriend was blowing his load everywhere. We’re all scarred for life.”
15) “I was stressed about my exam the following day once when I was having sex and called out my lecturers name when I came. That did not go down well.”
16) “Moments after I finished losing my virginity, the girl turned around and asked ‘have you got any questions? I assume everything down there was to your liking?’ It felt like a weird, degrading job interview.”
17) “When I lost my v-card, the guy cried naked in a foetal position after then got up and proposed. I nervously hugged him and then left. Not really embarrassing for me- but I bet he looks back on it now and cringes like crazy.”
18) “I finished having a huge orgasm and blurted out ‘that was so raven’ for no reason whatsoever. I still die thinking about it now.”
19) “I was having awkward pillow talk with a girl after sex once and I suffer badly from word vomit. I told her that if she was kidnapped and sold into sex slavery that she’d be ‘pick of the litter’. She looked at me like I was insane and never text me again.”
20) “I shit myself the first time I had sex with my girlfriend when I came. All over her white sheets. We’re still together though so…”