When we imagine the life of a princess, we think about being waited on hand-and-foot, wearing beautiful ball gowns, being chauffeured everywhere in fancy cars and basically living happily ever after with your prince charming… right?
I guess we’ve got Disney to at least take part of the blame for that, I mean who wouldn’t want to go from a life of misery to being whisked around in a royal carriage ruling over an adoring kingdom? Cinderella I’m looking at you!
In reality though, it’s a lot less freakin’ glamorous than that!
In fact, it can be an incredibly strict lifestyle. One in which every move you make is calculated and managed right down to the length of time you spend in the toilet… Which I have to say would drive me insane!
When you think about it, trying to appear as an example of perfection all the time must be pretty draining and definitely something you wouldn’t be able to do alone. I’m trying to think of the last time I got out of bed in the morning and DIDN’T look like an absolute train-wreck, so going your entire life without having a single hair out of place is out of the question.
Take a look at some of the rigorous routines and rules princesses must follow and see if you think you could handle the same lifestyle!
1. Stay absolutely impeccably groomed… at all times!
There’s no such thing as heading out to the shops to get a pint of milk and some donuts in your sweatpants, oh no! Princess Kate for example, visits a salon at least 3 times a week in order to keep her hair looking fresh and styled. You might be thinking “well that’s hardly a big deal, in fact that’s a luxury most of us don’t have access to“… but that’s just one side of it. She is expected to remain immaculately presented at all times from head to toe. No such thing as an off-day for a princess, so everything from the color of her nail varnish (only clear or nude tones) to the style of earrings she wears are planned. Don’t think I could be bothered with that every day!
2. Forget about any previous career goals
Being a part of the royal family is your full-time job now. I hope for Meghan Markle’s sake that she was aware of this before she agreed to marry Prince Harry because her acting career is effectively over now! This might sound sad but it’s just the reality of being a part of one of the most famous institutions in the world. Her time will now revolve around royal duties such as official appearances and working with charities. As well as looking absolutely fabulous all the time of course…
3. Focus lots of your time on charities
On the surface this doesn’t sound like the worst of things. In fact if you’re the sort of caring, kind and overtly charitable person the royal family expect you to be then it might even seem like a walk in the park at first. But it requires a great deal of commitment in terms of time and energy. Most princesses will identify a couple of charities and put huge amounts of effort into working alongside them to make improvements. At no point can you turn around and say “No, I’m not feeling it today”. That’s me out of this one too then, I’m not doing very well here…
4. You can no longer stuff your face
If you’re a fan of getting stuck into a big juicy steak or a greasy burger then look away now! There’s specific etiquette that has to be followed during dinner times too. This applies to both liquids and solids and it doesn’t matter if you’re out at a posh charity dinner of just eating with the family in the palace- the Queen would expect you to be no different in either places.
Some of the rules dictate which direction to move your cutlery in when taking spoonfuls of soup, which cutlery to use and when and even how many bites you can take when eating solids before placing your cutlery back down (4 max). Intense huh?!
It gets even stricter if you happen to be eating with her majesty the Queen too! It is said that you’re expected to mirror her actions to the point that when she is finished eating, you must stop too. So if, like me, you’re the type of person to save the best part of the meal till last, you’re just going to have to miss out I’m afraid!
5. Say goodbye to anything revealing
This won’t be news to you. Princesses are expected to appear extremely conservative and you’d be hard-pushed to find a picture of the Duchess of Cambridge in an above-the-knee skirt. Showing flesh in general has to be incredibly tasteful and in no way ostentatious or, well… slutty! There will be up sides to this though, just think of how little shaving they’d have to do!
6. No smooching in public
Ever out with your S.O in a loving mood and feel like giving him a quick peck on the cheek? Well, you can cut that out right now if you’re going to be a princess! Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are considered by some to be pushing the boundaries of this rule, but until their love blossomed you would rarely see so much as a hand-hold from any previous princesses. Save it for the bedroom guys gawd!
7. Don’t tell anyone you need the bathroom
It’s not exactly considered ‘ladylike’ to turn around and say “oh man, I really need a sh*t” and you probably didn’t need me to tell you that. In fact, you can’t say you need the toilet at all. Instead, if at the dinner table for example, Kate will place her napkin flat beside her plate and quickly scuttle off before returning without uttering a word about where she’s been. I don’t think anyone wants to talk about that whilst eating anyway…
8. You must sweat to death before removing your coat in public
It’s frowned upon for a princess or any female member of the royal family for that matter to remove clothes in public. I hardly think you’re going to be mistaken for a stripper anytime soon but those are the rules. Even if its swelteringly hot and your indoors, if there’s a camera pointed towards you, that jacket better stay on!
9. There’s no lounging about
You MUST sit appropriately at all times, no excuses… It’s called the “Duchess Slant“, fancy! This means legs slanted to one side with your hands placed on your lap. If you do happen to be wearing a shorter skirt, this will help stop you from flashing everyone in the room, you’re welcome.
10. No voting anymore
You must be seen as impartial and neutral as you are supposed to represent the entire country as a whole. So, if you’ve got any strong opinions on the state of the government, then keep them to yourself… at least in public!
Some pretty strict rules there. What surprises me is just how specific they can be, right down to how you’re allowed to eat and drink. I don’t think I’d make a day before I did something wrong. I bet they don’t get much of a lie in either, which is a massive deal breaker for me!