Red Skelton Shares His Recipe For A Perfect Marriage, And It’s Hilarious!

Red Skelton Shares His Recipe For A Perfect Marriage, And It’s Hilarious!

Marriage is a lot of work.

That’s something your not old enough when your planning your wedding or getting serious with your relationship.

When you first consider getting married, you don’t actually consider all the petty things you’ll argue about. Like the right and wrong way to the milk in the fridge.

It’s almost like people are trying to trap you in it, bringing it up at the last minute so it’s even harder for you to run away.

But hard work is very rarely a bad thing. It can be a good thing because in most cases it can make relationships stronger.

Marriage doesn’t have to feel like hard work. If your with the right person, then all that hard work feels less obvious.

When people get married, it’s like they finally have the perfect reason to tell bad jokes, make terrible puns that make your cringe, and do some pretty silly things that will wind you up in a matter of seconds.

Marriage can be a funny thing, especially when you consider all the funny ways your partner will drive you crazy.

But if your partner is driving you crazy with their terrible jokes then you’re doing something right!

Marriage is a funny thing, especially when it involves funny people.


Because we all can appericate the hilarious truth their saying.

Humor can help make some of the hardest situations seem a lot better, situations like marriage.

There was one such man who proved this to be true!

For those of you who are old enough to remember Red Skelton, then I don’t need to remind you of his wise words of wisdom.

But those of you who are blessed with youth, allow me to introduce to you to Red Skelton.

Richard ‘Red’ Skelton was an American entertainer who became famous for his radio show, The Red Skelton Show.

This show ran from the 1950s to the early 1970s! That’s one hell of a run!

He was beloved for his clean comedy that made the whole country roar with laughter.

But he also had a wicked sense of humor, especially when it came to marriage advice!

For some of  you this recipe will seem old fashioned. It seems old fashioned to me, and I was around when he first said this!

But just pay attention to the funny side of this hilarious recipe! Especially when you consider that he was married three times!

Red Skelton’s Recipe For The Perfect Marriage

One. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

Two. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

Three. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

Four. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. She said… ‘Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!’ So I suggested the kitchen.

Five. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Six. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought her an electric chair.

Seven. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’

Eight. She got a mud-pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

Nine. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the garbage?’ The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’

Ten. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

Eleven. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

TwelveI haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

Thirteen. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I said, ‘Dust!’

No wonder Red Skelton was married three times!

I’m surprised anyone wanted to marry him after this!

You have to admit though, it is a little bit funny!

What do you think about this recipe for a perfect marriage?

Does it sound like marital bliss or a domestic nightmare?

Let me know what you think in the COMMENTS! As always, I love hearing from you!

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