When it comes to the people we live with, thankfully many of us have a choice for most of our lives. Whether it’s with parents, friends, partners, we get to pick who we live with.
But sometimes, whether you’re just really broke, or maybe you’ve moved to college… you don’t get to choose who you live with.
They can be anybody, and I mean ANYBODY!
I’m talking the lowest of the low, the weirdest of the weird here. And if you don’t believe me, here are some house renting horror stories that will turn your hair white and curly!
“She would sometimes go out to do lord knows what and then come in late at night. It would be well after midnight, sometimes 2 or 3 in the morning, and I would be in bed asleep already. But she would always wake me up because she was so damn loud coming in. She would come in, flip the lights on, and whisper my name a couple times to see if I would respond. I wouldn’t – I would pretend to be asleep because I didn’t really like her or want to talk to her, especially that late at night.
As soon as she thought I was asleep, she would let it rip. I’m talking loud, long farts. It was really hard not to laugh.”
“Standing completely naked in the kitchen washing her hair (with my shampoo) in the kitchen sink that was already packed full with dirty dishes.
We had two showers and four bathroom sinks in our apartment none of which were in use… why.”
“Years ago, I lived with a bunch of strangers in a house and one of the roommates didn’t speak English. It was Christmas break, so I’m out of school and have tons of free time. I’m chilling in the common area reading–as I had been doing for a week–and this roommate, who I can’t communicate with, starts cooking something spicy on the stove. All of a sudden he starts panicking and yelling in his language. I hear pots banging and furious chopping of vegetables or something. This goes on for SIX hours. Yelling, chopping, yelling, chopping. Finally he comes out from the kitchen six hours later with a tiny bowl of soup. I thought okay, he must have prepped a week’s worth of meals and stored the rest. But later that night I leave out the back door and there’s this beef soup concoction strewn throughout the lawn. He had dumped pots worth of soup outside. To this day, I’m still not sure what happened with this guy in that kitchen.”
“My old ‘roommate’ (he was technically the homeowner but lived in a shack in the backyard) would come into my room early in the morning and watch me sleep. I was a bartender at the time so I would get home about an hour or so before he would be leaving for work. I was always thoroughly passed out when he’d leave and I’m a heavy sleeper so I did not notice this was happening for MONTHS until a guy I was seeing stayed up and caught him opening my door.
There was also a second door to my room that I could not open (it was locked from the other side). I don’t know what was going on in there but I’m fairly certain he was spying on me from that room as well. He was a complete crazy person.”
“I once walked out of my room and found him lying on the kitchen floor. I asked if he was alright cos I thought maybe he’d slipped or something but he said nope, just wanted to dirty himself before having a shower… proceeded to make floor angels and lay there for another good 15 mins or so.”
“I came out around 1 am to go to the bathroom and heard a weird rustling in the kitchen. I turned the corner and found my roommate sleeping in our sink.”
“My roommates cat died. He slept with his dead cat in his bed for like three days, knowing it was dead. He only stopped when it started to smell.”
“I walked in on my roommate’s girlfriend shaving his ass for him. That image is etched in my mind forever.”
“She would pleasure herself in the shower and scream in ecstasy, not realizing that just because she couldn’t hear us didn’t mean we couldn’t hear her. It was very uncomfortable.”
“She had this cup full of…liquid…by her bed. There’s no better way to describe it really.
She kept her toothbrush in it, bristles down in the liquid and when it came to teethbrushing time, she’d basically just take the toothbrush out, brush her teeth, spit into the cup and shove her toothbrush back into her cup.
I’m wretching just thinking about it.”
“This one’s what my roommate walked in on me doing:
So, it’s the middle of winter, and I come in after classes and look in the mirror. My hair’s a mess from all of the wind we had been getting. Spur of the moment, I decide that I’m sick of it. Haircuts cost money though, so I grab some scissors and start chopping 10-13 inches of my hair off. My roommate didn’t come in until I had mostly finished and started to even it out. There was no good way for me to see the back of my head, so I loosely wrapped a belt around the top of my neck and tried to go off of that.
So, she walked in around then, with bits of my hair everywhere, a belt tied around my neck, and me squatting on a chair (weird mirror position) trying to cut the hair on the back of my head.
That was the first time I had ever heard her curse.
Once she cooled down, and finished telling me how stupid I was, and not to ever tie belts around my neck, she helped me even it out, and left me to clean up all of my hair. I had caught most of it in double-ended ponytails, so it was all of the small pieces from straightening it out that were the issue. They were on the floor, counter, and all over me.
So I clean up the bathroom, and decide to take off my shirt and vacuum it too. It works, for the most part, and I notice that there are bits of hair all over my back and chest. So I take off my bra, turn the (smallish) vacuum around and start vacuuming my chest. And she walks in again to see me topless and basically stabbing myself in the chest with a vacuum.
Tl;dr: I am not a hairdresser.”
“Not me, but a friend. He caught his roommate masturbating over him while he was asleep. Woke up, asked him WTF. Guy had shirt and no pants Winnie the Pooh style. Claimed he was looking in friend’s room for his icy hot due to a backache. While sporting a boner. Argument ensues, friend moves out. It was the last straw in a long line of creeper behavior.”
“My roommate was too lazy to take the trash out to the dumpster, so they would just put the full bags of garbage in the outdoor storage closet on our balcony. I had no idea until one day we were cleaning and they say ‘we have to take the other trash out too’. There were at least 20 full bags of trash in there.”
“Three of my friends all shared a house together and one day I pop over with one of them after we had been out and about doing some shit. The front door had the chain on so we went round the back and went in and their was our other friend naked, wanking, stood up, in the kitchen, with his laptop on an ironing board.
He just went ‘oh f**k’ and we walked back out and went to the pub near by. He joined us twenty minutes later for a pint and tried to act like nothing had happened.”
“He would talk to a Woody doll, from Toy Story, that his dad gave to him before he died. I believe he thought he could communicate with his dead dad through the doll in a figurative way. He would also masturbate in his bed very early in the morning and then apologize at a more reasonable hour. We shared a bunk bed. The whole thing would shake.”
“I had a roommate in college who had a thing for making love to very, very large women. He had a room on the ground floor off of living room where we would all hang out. He was too embarrassed to admit his preferences in women, so he would force his hookups to exit through his window.
Only problem is our house was L-shaped, and his window was visible from the living room. So on numerous occasions we got to watch large women fall out of his window.”
“My college dorm mate had this weird thing with wanting me to think she was cool or fun or something. So every time I came home and put my key in to unlock the door, she would start hysterically laughing at whatever show she had on. I tested it multiple times to make sure. Tip toe up to the door – nothing. Stood there for a couple seconds and then put the key in – hysterical laughter to the point of tears.
So creepy and weird, I moved out the following semester.”
“I used to live with what I’ve decided was one of the most disgusting couples ever.
We lived in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment. They would use my dishes and leave them in their room, unwashed, usually with food in them. They didn’t want to buy a litter box for their cat so they took a plastic gallon tub and just dumped litter in it. Their cat constantly peed in their closet on their shoes and they’d just continue wearing them.
But the worst: When we moved out, I had to clean everything or I knew we wouldn’t get our deposit back. They had cleaned out most of their things and I let them know I was going to clean their room. They said cool (they were never going to do it), so I go in, armed with gloves, a scarf covering my mouth, and a bottle of bleach. Boy was I unprepared.
I walk in and this stench just hits me. Their bedroom door was always closed and they always had incense burning so I never smelled it. They had a couple cardboard boxes filled with poop and toilet paper. I ran out of there so fast and called them, screaming and demanding to know what was going on. They said sometimes I would be in the bathroom and instead of knock or hold their bladder, they would crap in boxes. They tried to play it off as ‘we take it out once a week’ like it was changing the litter box.”
“My old roommate had a picture of he and his mom by his bedside. His mom looked a LOT like Dinah Shore which sort of made sense because so did he when I thought about it, sort of round face, blonde hair, and he was gay so whatever that’s cool somehow that all fit together in my head.
Then one day we were all in his room smoking out and I told him ‘Rodney, I gotta say your mom looks just like Dinah Shore’. He asked, ‘How do you know what my mom looks like?’ And I pointed to the picture.
Rodney says, ‘That’s not my mom that’s Dinah Shore’.”
“Doing a webcam show while I WAS IN THE BACKGROUND INNOCENTLY WORKING ON MY CHEMISTRY HOMEWORK.”
“OK. Never thought I’d tell this story but this is the perfect venue. When I was a sophomore in college (1983), I had this really odd roommate named Opie. He did a lot of weird shit, but this one stands out. I owned this knife that I guess was technically a switchblade. One day he borrows it and then proceeds to pull down his pants and stab himself in the sack with it. That knife got a thorough cleaning after that.”
“Trying and failing to inject benzodiazepine into their rectum with a medical syringe.”
“Spraying our clean dishes with raid to keep the bugs away. Caught him at 3am.”
“He thought I had left.
Pulls out penis to masturbate, and imitates MLK “Free at last, Free at LAST!”
Never told him. So, nowadays I say “Free at last!” at random times when referring to masturbating and I just see this look of fear.
‘Does he know?’
Yes, Tyler. I know.”
“In the college dorms, I woke up in the middle of the night to find my roommate staring at me while standing in the middle of the room and cumming into a trash can.”
“I’ve caught my roommates (who are married) having sex, but that’s not the weird part.
I was home sick one day and I’d let my friend borrow my car. So, my roommates thought I wasn’t home and figured it was a good time to have sex in the kitchen. My room, being downstairs with the kitchen, was in earshot so I peeked outside and saw them fucking.
It only lasted for about 2 minutes and then the wife starts yelling at the husband about how pathetic he is in bed and he can’t please her and he cums too fast. It was f**king brutal. I’m pretty sure the husband started crying.
Later that day, when I ‘got home’, the husband starts bragging to me about how he and the wife fucked all over the house that day. I said nothing and let him have that moment. He needed it.”
Sheesh, those are enough to make you want to live alone forever, right? If you have any roommate horror stories of your own, be sure to tell us all about them with a COMMENT. Don’t forget to SHARE this article too if you enjoyed it!