We’ve all accidentally overheard something we shouldn’t have.
And sometimes we also overhear something we totally intended to overhear.
But what we overhear can be very different.
Sometimes you’ll even wish you never overheard it at all!
Don’t believe me?
Then take a look at the things people have overheard!
1. Should we tell him?
I remember way back when, I couldn’t sleep on Christmas Eve, you know, being a little kid and all. So during this sleepless night where I guess my parents thought I was asleep, I heard my dad say, “where do you think we should hide the new puppy?” That was pretty much at the top of my list, so naturally I was excited that I was getting a puppy. They talked for a good 20 minutes about the puppy, saying things like, “how should we keep it from barking before he finds him?” before I dozed off.
Next morning, I discovered that my parents knew I was awake and just decided to mess with me. There was no puppy. I got a Gameboy though, so it wasn’t too bad.
2. What a sweet memory.
When I was 6 or 7 I remember staying up late without the babysitter realizing, whilst my parents were out. I remember when they came back home I was so worried about getting into trouble for still being awake that I pretended to be asleep. Mum came in the room asking whether or not I was awake (I stayed quiet) and then she just sat down on my bed. She was quiet for what felt like forever but was probably only a couple of minutes before she bent over, stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head whilst telling me how much she loved me and how much I meant to her and then she tucked the covers around me tighter and left. To this day it’s my favourite memory of her and one I’ve never shared with anyone.
Her birthday is coming up in a month so I’m going to tell her, just need to figure out how to word it in a birthday card.
3. God Bless you.
I was spending the night at a friend’s house – I’m a guy and she’s a girl. I had brought my friend over because we were out partying, and we all slept in the same room. I was laying on the floor near my friend when I heard my friend Andrea call my name. Wanting to sleep, I ignored her not moving, to which she respond, “Ok, Andy I think he’s asleep, come here.” About 5 minutes later I hear the bed squeaking and her soft moans, one of them sneezed about 15 minutes into it, in which I responded, “Bless you.” They immediately stopped 10/10 would do again.
4. “That was a great night.”
Must’ve been about 16, 17ish, was staying at a friends house who was with his girlfriend. He was the first in our circle to have sex and he just loved to brag about it. How much of a natural he was, how surprised his girlfriend was that she was his first, all that cliché bollocks. We all just laughed, let him have his fun, and got on with it.
That was a great night.
5. “Thanks for the tip, mom!”
When I was a kid my mom would make my brother and me take naps for like 45 minutes. I pretended I was sleeping, and I heard my mom talking on the phone to my grandma. During the conversation I assume my grandma had asked what my brother and I were up to, because she said (my name)’s brother is sleeping, and (my name) is pretending to be asleep. I was like …crap. She said she knew I was faking because my mouth was closed, and whenever I’m actually asleep my mouth is slightly open. Ever since that day, whenever I’m pretending to be asleep for whatever reason, I keep my mouth slightly open. Thanks for the tip, mom.
6. “He was so thrilled .”
Weekend retreat at church camp – my buddy and another friend’s girlfriend and I ended up in a room with two bunk beds. We were chilling, when I realized that I was the third wheel, so I powered down. First there were tests to see if I was awake, then she climbed to his top bunk, then kissing, then her moaning, then her telling him he should wash his hand. I got bored and did some fake sleep-talking. They laughed and continued, but they called it a night without rounding home. She left, and I figured it was best to not give high-fives till the next day.
I don’t know why I waited until we were at his house; maybe she rode back with us. Still, it was my first time playing Super Nintendo, and as he handed me the controller that would introduce me to Yoshi, I asked him, “You did wash your hands, right?”
He was so thrilled to get to talk to someone about it.
7. We can hear you!
“This dumbarse knows that we know he’s awake, right?
8. That’s a stinger
“I’m only friends with him because I feel sorry for him.”
I played it cool for the rest of the night and then just never talked to him again.
9. Santa was busy!
When I was 8, on Christmas eve I overheard Santa eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Later, he opened the fridge and ate a large chunk of a cake and ran around the living room smearing the cake everywhere. Santa was our dog.
10. Important questions.
At a sleepover, “Do you think he’s circumcised or not?”
11. Think about it
It was a night after drinking with friends. I wasn’t really pretending, but more trying to keep my head from spinning. I overheard my buddy say to my other friend, Say! I wonder how easy it is to smother someone to death.
12. “Hit me real hard…”
I was in this messed up relationship with my ex husband when I was pregnant with my second kid. We had a roommate (female) but we would all have sex with each other because we were “young and free spirited” or something…
Anyway, I pretended to be asleep one night because I didn’t feel like having sex that night and didn’t want to turn anybody down or make up an excuse. My ex-husband and the roommate got to talking in the next room (the bedroom door was open so I could hear them pretty clearly) and she asked him why he married me anyway… His response:
“I just didn’t know what else to do at that point. Seemed like the next logical step and I took it. I honestly wish I hadn’t done it and I wish I was single right now living life, but now I have this stupid family and I’m not sure how I’m gonna get out.”
Hit me real hard…
13. “Sometimes you gotta do messed up.”
A French girl I met in a hostel came in to where I was sleeping and just sat there. I had just cut it off with her and I didn’t want to deal with her, so I pretended to be asleep for a few minutes. She just mumbled random stuff, she was pretty drunk. Finally what got me up was when, in the cutest french accent, she told me she was going to set me on fire in my sleep.
I should have mentioned that, yes, I did sleep with her again after that. Sometimes you gotta do messed up stuff to stay not on fire.
14. I’m NOT asleep!
I was drunk at a party and couldn’t fathom the world so I lay down, closed my eyes in a dark room. I heard two of my friends come in, one came over to me and poked me in the ribs then said, “It’s fine, he’s asleep.” They then proceed to talk about how both of them were cheating on their boyfriends and who at the party they wanted to get down with.
A loud fart followed by “oh sh-t!”. And then some shuffling sounds..
16. Nobody wants to hear.
My parents talking dirty while they were doing it.
17. What’s with people?!
I was sharing a room with a friend and his girlfriend for New Years and after all the partying and drinking he was horny. They thought I was sleeping so he began to touch her. Even though she was horny too, she didn’t want to do it because I was there.
So they were talking for like 5 minutes about whether to do it or not while he was still working his magic fingers on her when suddenly she said:
“No, we really can’t do it that would be so disrespectful for h… ooh yes ooohh like that… Ok, let’s do it but silently…”
18. I miss you
My friend said I’m a nice guy. Thank you man. May you rest in peace.
19. I wonder who they were talking to though.
A screaming match involving the line, “I want you to say one nice thing about my kids, ONE!” Followed by silence and doors slamming.
20. You didn’t think to ask?
My mum told a friend via telephone: I thought my husband was cheating, so now I do it too. I still don’t know what to do. My father has not cheated and it’s proven. My mum is just stupid, they’re getting divorced now.
I was sleeping without a shirt. My dad told my mom I had a nice build.
I hope they didn’t notice me smile.
22. Darn It!
Every time I’ve tried to pretend to fall asleep I ended up falling asleep for real. Darn it!
23. I can’t sleep!
I pretended to fall asleep when I was about 12 because I heard someone coming into the room that my younger sister and I shared and thought it was my mom who would yell at me for being on my ipod at 2am. It turns out it was a robber (with a crowbar), he just peeked into the room and went out when he saw us in there. I’m really glad I didn’t realize until the next morning who it was – I have no idea how I would have reacted if I’d realized some strange man was in my room at 2am.
24. Middle school sucks!
I pretended to be asleep at a sleepover, and heard my supposed friends planning to throw my clothes in the tree. Middle school sucks.
25. This was a great idea.
One night during high school, my friend and I got invited to a party. I didn’t drive back then so my friend picked me up. All went well on our way to the party. On the way back however, he got pulled over. As we were pulling to the side of the road, I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping (since I was the passenger). Anyway, I hear the cop get out of his cop car, walk towards our car, he stops at the window but doesn’t say anything. I can feel the brightness of his flashlight but I don’t hear him or my friend say anything. After about what seemed like an eternity, I decide to open my eyes to see what’s going on. That’s when I see my friend, the guy who is driving, is pretending like he is sleeping too.
Afterward? So, after my initial internal “holy crap” moment, the cop, who was obviously messing with us, apologized for waking us up and asked us to step out of the car. He never said but I’m sure he suspected us of being under the influence, which we weren’t (my friend and I were just being dumb kids, him more so than me, obviously). We fully cooperated and since we weren’t out past curfew, we were soon on our way.
The reason the cops pulled us over? My friends car had a busted tail light. I asked him what did he hope to accomplish by pretending to be sleep-driving, to which he replied that he thought I had a smart idea and he should do what I did. He’ll probably be glad to know that his most embarrassing moment is now on the internet for all to see.
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