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Okay ladies, it’s time for some real talk over here. We’re a lot grosser than we’d like to admit. And not just to ourselves, but to the men in our lives and even to other women! Well it’s time to stop being so ashamed, we are women, we are awesome and we are seriously gross pretty much all of the time!
So ladies, what’s the grossest thing you do that you wouldn’t want to admit to? Well we know about it. Not only do we know about it, but we’ve put it onto this list of twenty four seriously gross things that every single one of us does, but would never admit to, even under serious interrogation. Never admit, never surrender!
1. Taking your bra off the second you get home and feeling like heaven is on Earth.
Taking your bra off at the end of a long day is an absolutely heavenly feeling and there’s only one thing better than that – scratching the area where your bra was sitting. Oooooh yeah, that feels sooo good! If I could take my bra off right now, trust me, I would!
2. Checking out other girl’s butts
Who can blame us on this one? We ladies have amazing butts!
3. Wearing your jeans as many times as you physically can before you have to wash them.
We do not want to wash our jeans unless we absolutely have to. We will not wash our jeans until we’re aware that they are gross and might stink a bit. The only thing that will change this is a very obvious stain or spill on them, which will make us furious to our very core.
4. Doing low, wide squats in your jeans when they’ve just been washed.
Why do we do this? We look stupid doing it and we know it. The truth is, those jeans are pretty stiff after they’ve been washed and they need some serious stretching out. Why do you think we put off washing them for so long? And the best way to stretch them out? Squat time. And it’s good for your butt too, which is a bonus.
5. Only shaving when we absolutelyhave to.
Are our legs/armpits/bikini line going to be seen? No? Then they’re not getting shaved. Especially during Winter, we’re all hair during Winter.
6. Crying for no reason
Why am I crying? I don’t know, but I am crying and I am feeling all the feels. And I’m looking in my mirror at my ugly crying face while I do.
7. Debating whether or not to deal with the hair that’s inevitably going to clog up the shower drain.
Yes, we see all of that hair going down the shower drain. We know it exists, we’re not stupid, we just don’t really want to deal with it right now, honestly. Why? Because it’s gross and we’re all clean from the shower. Why on Earth would we want to go messing around with a drain while we’re all squeaky clean? Not happening, sorry.
8. We rearrange our boobs just like men rearrange their junk
Just because we wait until we’re in private to do it, doesn’t mean we don’t do it. We do. A lot.
9. Being scared that a fart will get trapped in our skinny jeans or leggings only to rear it’s ugly head at the most inopportune moment.
Remember that gross fart you did an hour ago? You thought you got away with it but what if it’s still there? Trapped in your tight jeans, waiting to come up and embarrass you at the worst possible moment. It’s irrational, we know, but we are very paranoid about this.
10. Finding hairs in our butt crack
And no, we don’t mean actual butt hair that’s meant to be there, we mean hairs from our head that have made their way down to our butt crack and stayed there, just to hang out. It’s fun. Honestly.
11. Feeling unexpected moisture in your underwear and being completely unsure whether it’s just normal discharge or the beginning of a period.
Ever seen a woman just stop in her tracks and run to the bathroom immediately? Yep, this is why. We’re not sure whether things are just a bit moist down there, or whether we’re facing the beginning of a period that is going to bleed through our pants. We need to deal with this. Now.
12. Nearly taking an eye out with your mascara wand
It doesn’t matter how good you are at applying makeup, you’ve probably done this more than once in your life and you know that it hurts. Not only does it hurt, but it makes your eyes water like crazy, ruining all of the other perfect make up you’d already done. Worst thing ever.