We all have our favorite foods, and depending what it is, you can sometimes get a pretty good version of that thing in a can these days.
I mean, who really has the time to make tomato soup from scratch every day, when you can easily pick up a can of the stuff and heat it up in the microwave in minutes!
Canned goods last for ages and ages without going off or losing their flavor, so there’s a lot going for canned foods.
Then again, some people take shoving food in a can a little too literally, and think they can shove any dang thing in there and people will buy it.
Take a look at some of the times canned food has gone horribly wrong and some of the awful sounding things you can get in a humble tin!
1. Canned cheeseburger
I mean, why pay that steep, steep price for fast food cheeseburgers like millions of others when you can pay $6 for this monstrosity!
2. Creamed possum
Not just creamed possum either, creamed possum with sweet potatoes garnished in coon fat gravy. Whatever the heck all of that is, it sounds simply disgusting.
3. Canned haggis
In case you didn’t know, haggis is a Scottish delicacy that tastes a lot better than it sounds. Lucky given that it couldn’t sound much worse; minced sheep offal mixed with onion, oatmeal, suet and seasoning traditionally cooked in the animal’s stomach. In a can though, it looks worse than dog food.
4. Reindeer pate
You’re meant to eat reindeer at Christmas? That seems cruelly ironic to me.
5. Pork brains
It’s almost as if they were trying to make this sound even worse than it already is. What could be more unappetizing than brains? Putting it in milk gravy. Pass me the sick bucket.
6. Canned Russian herring
There’s a nasty surprise waiting for you when you open the tin of this Russian… erm, delicacy. Yup, they just leave the fish’s whole face in there, teeth and all.
7. Roasted scorpions
Well, as long as they’re smokey BBQ flavor roasted scorpions, then I guess that’s just fine and dandy, right?
8. Silk worm pupae
Okay, stop the world, I want to get off. What’s with the makers of these disgusting canned goods making everything BBQ flavor? Do they think that would improve things at all?
Sheesh, don’t dress it up at all, or call it something different than it is. Just come right out and say it: “Tongues. Want some?”. No thanks, I’ll pass.
10. Creamed armadillo
Heroes on the halfshell, ‘dillo power! Turnpike quality, eh? As in, they got picked up after being run over on the turnpike?
11. Buzzard gizzards
Out Monday, the long anticipated new album from the hottest rock band around Buzzard Gizzards! It’s called Marinated In A Cream Sauce and includes the hit single No Thanks, I’ll Puke For Sure.
12. A canned sandwich… a candwich, of course
I love the tagline of this as the ‘Go Anywhere Sandwich’. As if all of those other sandwiches just aren’t portable at all, they needed to put it in a can!
13. All day breakfast… in a can
You’ll all come crawling back to this after a nuclear apocalypse when it’s the only all day breakfast you can get. Maybe then, they’ll be allowed to call them Scotch eggs without the “air quotes”.
14. Canned cuitlacoche
You can tell how disgusting it looks, but I know most of you will be thinking “what in goodness’ name is cuitlacoche?”. Well, this Mexican specialty is made from fungus that grows on corn, and the name cuitlacoche translates as ‘hibernating poop’. Mmmm yummy!
15. Um, these…
Who in the heck even thinks to eat that part of a fish? I’m all for not wasting any part of a carcass, but canning these poor fish’s butt holes up really doesn’t sit right with me… and I’m sure they won’t be able to sit right afterward either!
16. Canned brown bread
Have you ever been eating a nice loaf of bread and thought to yourself, “You know this is fine and all, but I really wish this bread would come out of a can and have an expiry date in the year 2297”. Well, wonder no more!
17. Duck fat
This isn’t just for gouging out of the jar with a spoon and eating, you understand. I mean, you could probably do that, but the chances of having an instant heart attack are pretty good. It’s actually for cooking with!
18. Canned hot dogs
Hot dogs that you get from the fair are always suspect enough, but imagine not being able to clap eyes on those suckers until you prize this can open! That’s exactly the kind of surprise I like!
19. Canned grass jelly drink
Let me try and sell you this Chinese drink. Ok, here goes… take the Chinese mesona plant, boil its stalks and leaves with starch, and cool it until a jelly forms. It tastes like iodine with lavender, and it can be eaten as a dessert, or made this a drink… hey wait, where are you going?
20. Canned bird’s nest drink
Don’t like the sound of grass jelly drink, huh? Well, how about bird’s nest drink? First you find yourself a nest of a south east asian swift, which it makes with its saliva, and boil it into a soup. Then you can make a drink of the same flavor, and… NOW where are you going?!
So which of these sounds most disgusting to you? Let me know with a COMMENT and remember to SHARE this story to really gross out your friends and family!