Somewhere in the world right now, someone in their 30’s is having a terrifying flashback of the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz
I think I speak for us all here when I say that these are all still absolutely horrifying. In fact, I don’t even know why I decided to write an article on this topic because I already know that I’m going to have at least three intense nightmares tonight about psychedelic boat rides and singing Siamese cats. It’s bad enough looking back on these creepy moments as an adult, but as a kid they could keep you up for a week. Either the script writers were slightly sadistic and disturbed or they had a very sinister sense of humour and enjoyed the thought of grown adults wincing at a kids film from behind a cushion. Either way, I’m not happy with how uncomfortable this list makes me feel. I hope you can all muster up the courage to read through this list and relate so I don’t feel like I’m alone in being a complete wimp…
1) The psychedelic tunnel scene in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory
Seriously, does this scene serve any purpose at all other than to freak you the hell out? Why does it make you feel so uneasy every time you watch it? Rumour has it that Gene Wilder was the only cast member to know that this scene was coming up and it was completely improvised- which is why the rest of the cast look so genuinely creeped out (they thought he’d gone insane). Trippy.
2) The Siamese twins from Lady and The Tramp
The creepy synchronised tails at the beginning. The evil eyes peeping out of the box. The way they sneak around every corner with their evil little demon faces. They’re just horrific.
3) When Mrs Trunchbull comes back to her house whilst Matilda and Mrs Honey are inside
Probably the most tense moment in cinema history- there, I’ve said it. Forget Silence of The Lambs, Alien or Jurassic Park- Matilda takes the crown for the most tense, traumatising, edge of your seat moment ever. Mrs Trunchbull take a bow, you scary bitch.
4) The flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz
These flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz are the stuff of nightmares. I’m still terrified of flying monkeys now, but thankfully I haven’t encountered any yet.
5) The Spider in Toy Story
Satan himself would probably look at this disgusting thing and say ‘I think that’s a bit too far’.
6) When Tweety Bird turned from a sweet, lovable little bird into this terrifying monster
It was just so unexpected. His un-proportioned body and that huge monobrow is enough to keep even the bravest of us up at night.
7) When Pingu got chased by a giant walrus
Look at it’s erratic, manic face and weirdly flat hands. It’s horrible. Pingu I don’t blame you for crying into your mothers arms even if it was just a dream- I’m crying right now looking at it from behind the safety of my screen.
8) When Bear from Bear in The Big Blue House used to put his nose right up to the camera
Is there any need Bear? Haven’t you ever heard of respecting people’s personal space? It was made even worse when he’d combine it with saying ‘I can smell you!’. Stick to what you know and sing goodnight to the moon from your balcony, you’re scaring the children.
9) Pinocchio- when the little boys would transform into donkeys
If reincarnation does in fact exist and we all transform Pinocchio style like this, we’d prefer to come back as something better than a jackass. Thanks.
10) Watership Down
It basically shows the violent death of cute rabbits. Seriously, what were they trying to do to us? Brutal.
11) The Fireys in Labyrinth
Their freakishly long fingers and erratic leg movements still make us super uncomfortable.
12) The Winged Devourers from The Beastmaster
What even was these guys backstory? They just appeared with their grasping wings and vomit that turned men into mush without any real explanation.
13) The Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
There’s two things that still terrify me about the child catcher. One- obviously his devilish face and haunting, unnerving voice. Two- the fact that I’m a grown adult and would still find it incredibly difficult to turn down free candy.
14) When Arnold from Hey Arnold sees his grandfather decomposing at the back of the bus
His jaw fell off. Not disturbing at all.
15) Mr Meaty- when Parker has a tapeworm taken out of him
This is not ok on any level. MAKE IT STOP.
16) The death of Bambi’s Mom
So, this isn’t exactly scary. But it sure is traumatising. Has anybody on the planet ever got over the death of Bambi’s Mom? It is HEARTBREAKING.
17) The Care Bears Movie- The Cannibal Tree
Between the rainbows and hugs and adventures of Share Bear, Grumpy Bear, Funshine Bear and all the rest, you forgot that the tree from Poltergeist tried to eat the little critters, didn’t you?
18) Return to Oz- Multiple Scenes
The scene where the lovable, iconic Dorothy is almost subjected to electric shock therapy in a mental institution. The talking decapitated heads. The Wheelers. It’s not exactly Frozen, is it? Kids these days have it so easy.
There’s probably hundreds more of these spine chilling moments from classic kids movies and TV from over the years, we’d love to hear about any in particular that gave you creeps (and secretly still scare the hell out of you). Personally, I admit that I’ll never look at a doll in the same way again after seeing one’s head mounted on to metal, motorised spider legs. *shudder*
Sorry future babies, you’re going to have to make do with other toys I’m afraid.