Having a light on in the car whilst you’re driving gets you sent to prison right? … for life.
1. The world used to be black and white
The world used to be a dark, lifeless and slightly depressing place. Well at least that’s what I thought when I was shown what films, photos or TV shows were like before the 1950’s.
2. ‘You are what you eat’
Anybody else take this completely literally? Did you ever think to yourself: “I quite like the idea of being a chocolate cake”, or alternatively were you alarmed at the thought of becoming a bowl of sloppy custard. Chances are you weren’t alone.
3. ..So logically eating seeds would do the same thing
A fairly common one and definitely a great way to avoid eating fruit as a kid! My friends and I used to be terrified that when our moms put an apple in our lunchbox, they didn’t want us anymore and a plant would slowly grow in our stomachs until we eventually evolved into a tree. I took this even further by thinking that all the trees in the world were just people who had made the transition and the type of tree depended on the type of fruit you ate.
4. Sex means a lot of different things
Is it just kissing? Or when two people sleep next to each other? I used to think it was when two people danced together in private. This person had other ideas…
What if you needed to pee?
Oh, better to hold it in then..
5. And once you knew how sex worked, you thought it was for one thing and one thing only
My mom had sex twice and i’ll hear nothing more about it!
6. To be honest our entire anatomy was just a minefield of confusion
Makes sense when it comes out the other end.
7. Kissing someone was a binding contract
Thank god this never turned out to be true. You can only get pregnant when you’re happily married too… right?
8. There’s an endless supply of money
The concept of a bank account goes over most children’s heads. I for one used to think that it was just one giant never-ending pot of money that you could take from as and when you pleased. So I could never understand why my mom regularly refused cash back, or only got out a certain amount at the ATM. Especially when I wanted something and she’d say “that’s too much”, cruel!
9. People used to work inside traffic lights
They would have little peepholes to be able to see when the traffic was building up, but they weren’t aloud to talk to people whilst working so you could never say ‘hi’. You wouldn’t want someones sacking to be on your conscience.
10. Sitcoms were just ordinary people living out their overly dramatic lives
I guess it never occurred to many people that it might be a bit weird for a camera to follow a family around all day whilst they carried out their day-to-day lives. Maybe you thought your existence was ultimately a bit boring because the people on TV always used to have so much going on every single day.
It stepped up a notch when people were killed. Come to think of it that would have been pretty disturbing if true!
11. Teachers lived at school
Where did they sleep though? On the desk? It never really mattered, it was just strange when you would bump into them outside of school. Sometimes you’d feel bad for them if they left because you thought they were losing their home too.
12. The moon was just baffling
It’s a soccer ball in the sky, perhaps it’s the sauce of all cheese on earth? It definitely follows us around.
I believed the moon only came out at night to prevent being melted by the sun. Because of this the moon and sun were sworn enemies and avoided each other at all costs. The first time a solar eclipse occurred I thought the two would collide, explode and we would all die. It doesn’t get more far fetched than that!
13. Fax machines were magic
Wait.. that’s not what happens?
14. Drink-driving laws were really strict
My parents were so cautious they only took their hand off the steering wheel to change gears.
15. Animals and aliens are the same thing
Animals can look pretty odd, especially when 1. You’ve never seen them before – and 2. They exist in an area of the world you aren’t familiar with yet. Take a look at the Blobfish!
16. Police were the real bad guys
These days when the cops are speeding to the scene of a crime you can usually hear them before you see them. As soon as you do see them you immediately try and move out of their way and they charge off into the distance in pursuit of the ‘baddies’. But what if they were actually the criminals and they’re all in on it together? Think about it, how often do you actually see a car in front of them that they’re chasing. That was my logic and i’m still not sure to this day that it’s definitely not the case.
17. And finally…
It wasn’t just your parents that told a white lie or two…