You got this, girl.
Having your heart broken really f*cking hurts.
I’m not claiming to be an expert on love, relationships, or breaking up. I’ve only been in one serious relationship and I can only tell you how I felt after it ended and how I got through it. First, there is no magic answer. It’s going to be absolutely sh*t for a while- you’ve essential lost your best friend. You had something special with a person and now it’s gone forever.
However, I can promise that every day it will die down just a little bit, even if it still feels like an eternity to you. You will go from mixed feelings of hatred and sadness until you simply just don’t want to feel anything anymore. Then one day (and that day could take awhile to show up) you’ll tell yourself you’re sick of looking them up on Facebook and feeling sad. You’re sick of thinking about them all the time. You’ll delete their texts and unfollow them on social media and you’ll be ready to get back to living life. This WILL happen and you’ll come out a stronger, better person on the other side- but until you get there- pour yourself a huge glass of wine and read through this invaluable advice on how to deal with a broken heart…
1) Know that it will hurt like mad, but it WON’T last forever…
Cliché as it sounds- time really is the biggest healer. Although you may feel like it’s going to take a lifetime to get over it, you WILL get over it. You will realize that the rest of life is STILL pretty amazing and you should take comfort in the fact that some of the happiest days of your life haven’t happened yet.
2) It’s okay to embrace how much it sucks and wallow in your own self-pity for a while
It’s a rite of passage to do this when you have your heart broken- it’s a growing experience and learning curve. You will come out as a better, stronger person for it. Life doesn’t present too many opportunities to cry at soppy movies, wear PJs and not wash your hair for days on end. Don’t be too hard on yourself- make yourself a breakup playlist that you can sing and cry to. It’s therapeutic.
3) Don’t assume you’re being overdramatic or should be ‘over it’ by now
Seriously- having your heart broken is up there with grieving for someone. It’s SO painful. It’s ok to treat it like that and to mourn. There’s no “right way” to feel about a breakup and no “right time” to be completely fine and over it. But at some point you’ll be going to bed without crying once all day. And then you’ll go a week without being sad about it. Then you’ll go a couple of months. Then finally you’ll realize it’s all ok. And that’ll be a great day.
4) You’re not being a drama queen- there’s actual science to explain what you’re going through right now
Honestly- this woman even did a Ted Talk on it!
5) You can NOT give up hope in love. This quote from one very wise Reddit user perfectly sums up why;
6) Have fun, but don’t immediately try to find someone new to distract yourself
“Being alone for a while is sometimes all you need to get your head straight and to let your heart mend. Your heart is broken into a million little pieces at the moment – don’t put it at danger when it’s at it’s most delicate.”
7) If you do want to distract yourself for a while, take this time to make some positive changes in your life;
8) “Do not ever mix tequila shots, heartbreak and Facebook. It will not end well.”
Go out and enjoy yourself- but do this with people who love and care about you and will look after you, and stay clear of certain self-destructive habits for a while! Trust me.
9) Lean on your friends as much as you need to- it’s what they’re here for and they LOVE you to bits.
You’ve been over the same thing a thousand times and spent hours going through every detail of your relationship and that’s okay. There’s nothing better than having a good old bitch about your ex with your girlfriends and cackling your way through a bottle of wine whilst doing so. Let it all out.
10) Listen to some Beyonce and Taylor Swift
Or any other female singer who dedicates a whole album to stupid f*ckboys who have broke their heart. You may go through a phase of self doubt or low self esteem wondering why you weren’t good enough- but c’mon- Jay-Z can compromised his relationship with BEYONCE. BEYONCE EFFING KNOWLES! Men can just be SO stupid and not realise how good they had it. It’s their loss.
11) Don’t shy away from doing things/ going to places that remind you of them. Do what you want to do.
Go and make other memories there. BETTER memories. Don’t compromise what you love just because they’ve tainted it.
12) But feel free to purge all that crap they left at your place if keeping it or seeing it will make you sad.
Burn it. Burn it all.
13) If they try to slither their way back into your life after you’re finally over them, fight the urge to reply or meet up with them
You haven’t been through all of this pain for them to just randomly text you months later with ‘I miss you’. No thank you. Not today, Satan.
14) The best is yet to come!
15) Take this time to think about the kind of person you do want and deserve to be with. Take it from Oscar Wilde…
16) And finally, do whatever is in your power to make yourself HAPPY!