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People and cars don’t always mix well…
Let’s face it, Idiot drivers aren’t exactly new a new species. They’ve been acting like as*holes on the roads for as long as we can remember. Sure, just ignore the fact you have indicators and cut me off at a busy intersection… that was just this morning.
1. Wishing someone would do more than pull out of a parking space
I think I could take the second part of this note and hand it to about 30 different people each and every day, not that i’m bitter or anything. This person’s parking must have truly been dreadful to receive this comment. Some would say it might be a little over the top, I say they probably deserved it! And ‘ASSHAT’ at the end is like placing the cherry on the cake. Just for good measure they’ve put it in block capitals so you know they’re not joking around…
2. Do they make brail gear-sticks?
If people that are completely blind were aloud to drive it’d be absolute carnage out there. Saying that it seems as if this person’s found someone that probably snuck out whilst no one was looking and didn’t do a great job of fitting in.
I reckon it was this guy once he’d finally stopped.
3. A picture speaks a thousand words
Ah Stevie Wonder, what a man. I wonder if he realises he’s the butt of jokes like these. Either this person wasn’t in a hurry or they felt that the parking was so bad they needed to make their point with what I would say is an above-average illustration of the jazz singer. I’ve definitely seen worse efforts.
Ok, we’re into the graphic stuff now. In defence of the person that wrote this, BMW drivers don’t exactly carry the best reputation around with them… As*holes. Not only has this person given the driver an ultimatum he won’t forget in a hurry, he’s actually drawn a diagram of it taking place. This is the sort of thing you’d expect to see on a film like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, not in a parking lot. Then again, he may well have just parked that badly.
5. Terrible parkers mustn’t be aloud to reproduce.
Continuing along the theme of graphic threats, this person’s gone one further and decided that this breed of As*hat (I liked that one), shouldn’t be able to reproduce in the first place. Then followed it up with of course threatening to chop of his genitals. It’s the only way to get through to these people!
6. Children’s activities are the solution
Sometimes you can only assume that people that park terribly are complete and utter morons, therefore you have to treat them as such. This person actually went to the effort of printing off a colouring activity just to make his point. To be fair the person whose parked their car there probably took it home with them and still strayed outside the lines.
7. When your dog’s gotta go…
I don’t think people get enough credit for the things they think up to write in moments of pure rage. If I had a dollar for every time I said something funny when I was angry i’d comfortably be a millionaire. You can blame other people for that. If everyone stopped doing things that were so f*cking annoying in the first place, I wouldn’t have anything to be incensed at.
8. When you just can’t catch a break
This person shows us that you don’t always have to write threatening and vulgar messages to get your point across. Sometimes playing the sympathy card can work wonders too. Unless he’s not made it up and what he’s written is actually true. In that case give the guy a break! Who knew space hoppers were so dangerous anyway?
9. Young people…*Sigh*
I don’t get personalised number plates, in my eyes if you’ve got one you might as well have saved your money and got “I don’t know how to spend my money because I’m an idiot” printed on the back windshield instead. Well, this guy agrees with me at least…
10. Christmas cheer
Even santa loses his sh*t sometimes apparently. I wonder if there’s a ‘how to park like an as*hole’ handbook that goes around during the holiday season. Maybe people think that with it being a cheery, festive season other drivers will be more forgiving- no. I don’t care if it’s the apocalypse and people are fleeing for their lives, don’t block me in!
11. Do you value your manhood?
It’s a well known fact that if you’ve got a flashy sports car then you’re not so well endowed in the old manhood area. It’s science, look it up.
It’s not exactly difficult to park with consideration for the people around you. Saying that, people ruffling feathers this way can result in some hilarious and often grotesque insults so I guess it’s not all bad.
Have you ever been so infuriated by someone else taking the mic with where they leave their vehicle that you’ve done something like this? The wife blocked me in the other week so I let the dog ‘unload’ all over the side of her car. Was it out of order? Absolutely not!